Final Reflection

Reflections are fascinating.  They are not real but they embody the essence of the item.  We reflect on the past, what is already gone.  We reflect upon the future, what is yet to be.  The present exists for just a moment and then it is gone.  What we see may not be real, much like a mirage; it may be with us forever, as a shadow; or it may be a dream, that is nurtured in our hearts.  What reflections do we choose to dwell upon?

What is past has shaped us.  Our writing is not as it was when we started.  We learn from our mistakes, if we choose.  We dwell on the choices we have in front of us.  We deliberate more than we did.  We have learned to be aware of our audience.  Who do we want to read our writings?  What will they think of our writings?  Will they understand, appreciate, learn?  We have learned to be conscious of our words; the tone, the expression, the depth.  Do we adequately convey the meaning that we striving for?  The words on the page are not just there to be seen, but to share a message of some kind.  In the past we may not have been cognizant of the impact of our words on others, but the past has now slipped away.

The present is upon us now.  We write to fulfill requirements.  We strive to impress our professors.  We catalog facts and figures that others tell us are important.  As our shadow moves about us, from back to front, our writing changes to suit the need.

The future lies ahead.  What do we want our writing to be?  Is our writing for personal use alone or do we want to impact the world?  Will it be powerful enough to reach those who can enact change?  Or will it be quiet enough to bring solace to someone needing to find peace?  Our fulfillment as a writer lies in the expression of our thoughts.  Our words can be skilled as a talented craftsman's work, or rudimentary as a picketer’s sign.  We are the ones who will choose what our words will become.  Our thoughts, beliefs, hopes, and fears will all find release through the words we choose to write.  We choose our future.

Reflections are changeable.  Past, present, future run together.  What we thought we knew is no longer true.  What we will know hasn’t come to fruition yet.  We must write.  History lives in the written word.  Dreams come alive if given a voice in writing.  Our choice is what we do with what we have.  We make our reflections out of our own perspectives and imaginations. 

I hope to make my future reflections better than I have ever dreamed in the past.

Scuba Lessons...

You, dear reader, most likely think this blog entry should be about the wonderful world of scuba lessons and all the interesting things you can learn from Time and Depth Charts and the dangers of nitrogen narcosis and decompression sickness...

But guess what... it's not!

You should know me better than that...

No... my scuba lessons are the stuff you didn't know you needed to know, the *really* important stuff...

Like...

animal crackers make friends... everybody will want them and they'll all revert back to being 5 year olds.  I've never seen so much excitement about animal crackers.

pick your buddy well... if they don't turn your air back on for your after turning it off for the lesson, you probably don't want to keep them around for the long haul of the class.

while rain and scuba mix, thunderstorms and scuba don't... thunder doesn't sound like dump trucks, you're gonna get a little freaked laying in the middle of the lake listening to the thunder and watching lighting overhead.  Shore is a nice place to be...

panic happens... just breathe deep and watch the bubbles.  Bubbles make everything better.  And just remember, you're not the only one who panics.

if you play paper, rock, scissors underwater with your buddy while you're waiting for other people to finish stuff... don't laugh when you win.  If you laugh, water seeps in your mask and then you have to clear it... again... for the zillionth time.

if you know you're gonna have to put your wetsuit back on later to get back in the water... don't take it off to begin with.  Really.  Seriously.  Don't.  It's way too hard to put back on and you'll only be that much colder.

failure is an option... it's not the best option, but it is an option, because it just means you can come back another day to finish it up... though is it really failure?  or just conceding defeat for a day?

being able to take scuba in order to share a class situation with your son is a priceless opportunity... driving back and forth to the lake with him sleeping in the seat next to me... having him tell me I didn't do too badly and I almost got it and I'll get it next time, is really nice praise... spending time with him before he leaves for the Marine Corps is time that I will cherish for life...

scuba's fun... you should all try it... just not during a thunderstorm

I Don't Wanna Be Like the Others...

In doing this blog project for class, I struggled through the first three entries of how to actually have reason to link to another blog.  I don't really like to link to things unless it's relevant.  And for the first few entries I did, it wasn't relevant to what I was writing about.

But in the spirit of the assignment, I decided that I'd put in another entry that covered something relevant just so I could link to similar blogs.

During our review in class of other blogs about our semester-long theme, I stumbled across three different blogs having to do with being a non-traditional student.  Let's just say, I wasn't completely impressed by a couple of them.

To me, a blog should be a personal form of communication to others, not just a non-personal method of sharing information.  It's a little overwhelming and disconcerting to be faced with something like this.  As soon as I saw it, I was overwhelmed with its busy-ness, there was just too much there.  I didn't want to get dragged in never to escape.  So I never started.  I know I should, I am certain there's quite a lot of good information there, but it just intimidates me with how full the page looks.

Then there's the attempt at being personal but it seems more of a personal at arms length and I'll share just enough to say that I shared.  Being at arms length is better than nothing, but it still just left me feeling a little empty, there definitely wasn't a connection, I didn't feel any camaraderie with the author.

I got a little frustrated in my search until I found this little gem.  I liked this blog immensely.  I'm even thinking of contacting the author just to make a connection with her.  I feel like we might get along.  She is honest and open in her writing about being back in school, not just about the facts and figures, but about the feelings and angst.  I appreciate that.

I guess, in writing my blog, in continuing to blog, I don't just want to fit in to a pre-ordained space that someone else has decided is right for me.  Because honestly, my life right now could never fit into a pre-ordained space.  No one could have decided that this should be my life.  Well, except for the one who figured it out to begin with.  He knew I'd be here.

I've never quite been like the others... so why start now?

My blog will be me!  Quirky, silly, serious, fun, stupid, with a bit of angst and wisdom thrown in for good measure.  Welcome to my world...